four months

roberta layne
fifteen pounds, 11 ounces
twenty-six inches long

tummy time

first time eating

On the day after her 9th birthday, we visited the police station in the small town from which my mom had recently moved. We had to go because she told Mom that the 12-year-old girl (A) who had hung around that summer "raped" her. She doesn't really know what the word means and Mom didn't question her much beyond confirming that the girl had touched her in her private areas. Mom didn't want to needlessly interrogate her -- not knowing if she would have to be questioned by police officers. More importantly, she didn't seem to be telling so that she could rehash every detail. She wanted to tell the secret and know that Mom was not mad at her.


We celebrated her birthday thoroughly from morning to night and now today, we went to the police for guidance on how to handle this. Mom explained the situation to the officer. Our interest was twofold: How could we best protect and heal our girl? and How could the other girl be stopped from hurting other children and be given whatever help she needs? J. stopped playing with A. after this happened but she told Mom that A. would "look for her and find her" wherever she would ride her bike. The officer had openly ignored my mom's offer of her hand to shake when we came in, so I shouldn't have been surprised by his first question, "Is your daughter known for telling stories?" followed by "It's been a year and a half!" {Actually six months. Math is hard.} I explained to him that we understood that it was a touchy situation, that we weren't necessarily looking to convict the child, and that we were hoping for guidance on how to handle it correctly. He then told us that we should take J. to a medical doctor for an examination -- not that there would be any evidence but so that we would know whether there had been anything done -- to rest our minds. {Yes, officer. Putting her through further trauma will certainly put our little minds at ease.} After that, we should get her psychological help. {Ya' think?} I assured him that we would be seeking help for her but that our concern with him was how to best protect other children. He told us that this was the first time they had heard anything like this about A. and again expressed doubt about the story saying, "no one else has come in here about her." I told him that if they had perhaps we wouldn't have the story to tell. I asked him what he would do if it were his daughter and he said that he'd take her to a medical doctor for an exam, get psychological help, and go over to A.'s house and speak with her parents. I call bullshit on that. We asked him about the legal process and he explained that J. would be questioned by county officers who have been trained to work with children. He would be in the interview and would determine whether her story was true. He really emphasized that HE and not the other officers or anyone else would determine the truth. If he determines it is true, they will then pursue actions against A. In the end, we decided to go ahead and have the county officers work with her and will, of course, get her proper therapy. We now must wait to find out when the appointment will be scheduled. He indicated that it could be from a week away to a month away. {Does that seem like a strangely wide window to you?}

So now, we wait. And pray. And make our plan. We want the result to be that J. feels supported, loved, protected, and heard. We want her to know that we'd do anything for her and that she should be free from all secrets and shame. How do you make her free and safe when we couldn’t protect her?

bath time

birdy can use the bath ring now!

and so can nora!

thog life

i'm behind on this blog (among other things.) It's a vicious cycle -- I don't blog because I haven't blogged so I can't blog. Part of me thinks I should drop the blog if I'm going to turn it into a stressful thing to do but I really like having all of this information in one place and it's therapeutic sometimes to just put uncensored information out there. I mean, really, is there anything as self indulgent as my diary-all-about-me style of blogging? I love indulging though so I'm just going to brain dump here to feel 'caught up.' To my credit, I often think in blog form (really good blog form, I swear) and that should count for something... The term 'blinking' is already taken, so I'll call it 'thogging.' Goes perfectly with the tattoo I was considering...

{girls} I just am going to copy and paste some little items from Facebook statuses (stati?). I want to write my girls a letter each year of their life and have found the memories recorded here to be so helpful when writing them.

10.31.09 Awake. Looking at me. I swear she just smiled at me. ♥

11.08.09 I love it when Birdy laughs in her sleep ♥

11.12.09 I need time to stop for a bit. I blinked and she's three weeks old.

11.28.09 Playing with Nora. My pretend name is 'Alice.' Hers is 'pwetend refwigewator.'

11.28.09 Nora is for real cleaning for her pretend party

12.16.09 Birdy slept five hours IN A ROW!

12.20.09 Nora just declared 'Christmas in Washington' to be boring.

12.22.09 2 months old and full of gummy smiles ♥

01.06.10 On our first outing without diapers (for Nora, at least)!!!!

01.06.10 Evidently God has repeatedly asked Nora to 'keep an eye on Her cat.' Oh, and Her cat's name is Ellie - in case you were wondering.

01.09 Birdy slept through the night, 10p - 6:30a, and then slept from 8a - 12p. Let's hope she has found a love of sleep matched only by my own. ♥

01.13.10 Nora, Age 3, "I'm going to pee in the shower... because that's what people do."

01.15.10 Nora Quote of the Day: "You're my dude. I love you, dude."

01.20.10 Birdy is teething already! Poor baby.

01.26.10 Nora tells Joe a Knock-Knock joke and then says, "Now you tell me one!" Joe says, "Knock Knock!" and Nora says, "Go Away!"

01.28.10 Birdy smiles and laughs the second I put the camera down!

01.31.10 Nora upon waking up this morning, "I'm get old like you dad. I'm getting old with all this sleeping."

02.09.10 I just told Nora to clean up her toys. She is reluctantly doing it while singing, "I love my dad! I love my dad!"

02.09.10 Nora told Joe that he is the 'pwoblem' and she is the 'lution' (solution).

Birdy's baptism (on 01.31.2010) went well. Y. and her family jumped through hoops to be there and it meant so much to have them there to celebrate with us. In true form, my worries that morning were all about how I looked, how much weight I haven't lost, and how much my lisp would come into play. (Should the word 'lisp' have an 's' in it?) I'm so glad to report that once we were there with family, friends, and community, all of that flew from my head and it was all about dedicating our sweet baby girl.

Birdy wore the same dress that Nora wore for her baptism (in picture in post below.) It's just a simple, regular dress, but it made me happy to see it worn again. It was just a wonderful day. Unbelievably, we didn't get a family snapshot. Joe took a couple of shots of guests at our home -- I'll have to check them out and see if any have good shots of Birdy or Nora.
I've been helping my mom sort through her basement at the new house. The basement is full of things to be unpacked, organized, sold, or donated. Last week we found my baby Joey doll and my seven dwarfs. Nora has been having a blast with them.

As you can see, Joey was inspired by Archie Bunker's grandson and is anatomically correct. My parents bought it as a joke for one of my older sisters and she hated it. No worries, though, I was right there to scoop him up and love him. And now Nora has taken the torch. I'll have to take a picture of ours because his hair is all matted giving him a major receding hairline to compliment his charming looks.

{homekeeping} This leads me to the question~ what toys will you keep for your children? I will keep an obvious toys (favorite baby dolls, etc.) and I guess I'd keep any toys I deem good to keep around for visiting children. How do you decide? I don't want boxes of unused toys, but I am finding it fun to discover my old toys and share them with Nora.

My quest to find a homekeeping method that fits my insanity is continuing. I'm finding FlyLady to be very helpful. I used her methods after Nora was born and I was dealing with postpartum depression. This time is different as I'm not going back to work and need to find a different sort of groove. I've only gone as far as Day 4 (for weeks now) and am just trying to incorporate those concepts into my everyday -- I'll move on once these are well ensconced into my routine. These are not yer exact steps but my hybrid concepts are: prepare what you can the night before, take care of the little things as they occur, note how things flow best, and start the day off ready for anything (showered, dressed, makeup, whatever you need in order to possibly walk out the door). I especially like her 15 minute assignments. When I'm overwhelmed or unsure where to start, it is shocking how much can be done in just 15 minutes. Setting the timer and GOING always results in awesome stuff.

My goal is to have a kickass routine that flexes without stressing me out. Right now, it seems that Mondays and Fridays are great for getting all the laundry done and getting the house in order either prepping for or recovering from fun, relaxed family weekends. I feel dumb for putting this here because I know that most everyone does much more than I do in a day without the drama or imbalance. But it's my blog, damn it, and I need to get something rolling here.

Monday: Laundry, Bedding, Cleaning, Vacuuming Tuesday: Errands/Playdates/Creative Endeavors Wednesday: Have Mom over so that I can go volunteer or work on special projects at home. Thursday: Library Storytime then lunch and afternoon with Mom Friday: Laundry, Cleaning, Vacuuming, Meal Planning Daily: at least one load of laundry, dishes, litterbox, straightening, bills, picking up -- where does grocery shopping fit?

I'm learning that clean enough really is enough. I have a real love of having EVERYTHING done at the same time. That is just not currently realistic; nor is it balanced. If I ever go back to the work world (after the girls go back to school? what will i do?), I will get a cleaning service so that I can enjoy that everything is clean feeling without giving up time with the girls. But for now I need to remember that Birdy won't always be a tiny little baby who nurses every other minute of the day ~ and because it won't last I should just soak it all up and know that everything else will fall into place in time.

{totally random me stuff} On top of the regular February blahs, I have hair falling out by the truckload. I remember this from having Nora, but forgot how MUCH hair. It's just what I need when I'm feeling fat, pale, and depressed. I'm considering going tanning a couple of times just for that feeling of the sun. I swore off being a tanimal after Nora was born, but this is more like therapy for S.A.D. :P

Nursing Birdy has been the most wonderful experience for me. Nora was born at 33 weeks and my milk barely ever came in. She was in NICU and I was pumping every couple of hours day and night. I would only get an ounce or two each pumping session. Couple all of that with PPD and it just became impossible. This time around, it has been easy going and wonderful. I just can't say enough about how much I'm enjoying it all. The bonding, the convenience, the two of us... all of it. That said, my boobs are crizazy huge and I'm getting worried about them post breastfeeding. The are ridiculous and so ugly to me. The biggest nursing bra I could get was and I/J and I'm busting out of that. Before breastfeeding, they were about an F -- which was more than I'd like and now? Blech. Its worth it but I'm seriously considering a reduction once Birdy is done breastfeeding.

{stuff} Winter has brought its normal gift of dry, itchy skin. Here's what I'm loving:

Cetaphil for my face. It cleanses so gently and is so affordable.

Lush Sympathy for the Skin. Best. Cream. Ever.