untitled epiphany

happy new year.  I love a fresh start and the freshness of New Year can't be manufactured at any other time so I'm digging it right now.  So much is going on that I never blog because I can't figure out what takes precedent for recording for our family or what needs working through by writing.

But then I had a thought.  The kind of thought that you probably already have thought but that I've never grasped.  On Friday, I went to the gym and met a mommy friend there.  As an indicator of our fitness and commitment level, we thought we were going to a half hour beginner's class and both of us considered canceling.  We made it there for what turned out to be a one hour intense step interval class.    And it rocked.  We modified where needed, we succeeded some, laughed a lot -- we survived.  I left feeling so triumphant.  Like ME -- me --- regular, nonathletic, fat, uncoordinated, undisciplined ME did a class with THOSE women.  And I could not have cared less what I looked like or what anyone thought.  While wonderful, this was not the epiphany.  The epiphany was that it took the good portion of the morning to get everyone ready, get to the gym, take the class, get the children, go home and clean up.  For once, I didn't try to 'make up' for the time lost doing something for myself.  Normally, I would feel guilty and work double time during the afternoon on whatever I think other people think I should have done.  Here it is:  doing something for myself is worth REAL time -- not late late nights or stolen moments --- REAL time.  The sort of time where you could meet with people who want something from you, the sort of time you could schedule with appointments, cleaning, laundry, shopping, or phone calls.... REAL time.  I've seriously often wondered how people fit in working out, getting hair and nails done, doctor's appointments, creative time...  now I know what they know.  It's not magic.  It's not better discipline or scheduling.  It's knowing your own worth and enjoying the trip.

Wordless Catch Up

Our Little Climber

Nora's Fourth Birthday Party

Nora's Fourth Birthday -- Making Cupcakes

Birdy Layne

Nora's First Day of School

Apple Picking

Growing So Quickly!

Joe's 41st Birthday

We took tons and tons of shots.  This is one of the only ones where we are all at least looking in the right direction.

fresh new week

i keep trying to find a way to sum up last week so that I can move beyond it and there just isn't a good way to do it.  It was an awful week and you know what?  Even in the midst of awful, I surely have so, so much to be forever grateful for.  I'm just going to list it here without all of the stories I'd like to include on each item.  Maybe another day, another time.

Sunday was the wake for our friends' baby daughter.
Monday Joe's mom text broke up with us.
Tuesday Nora swallowed a quarter and had to have an emergency procedure to remove it.
Wednesday we attended another wake.  This time for a dear friend's father.  He was one of the good guys.

That's all there is.  We are so blessed beyond any measure.

in a people house

home things i've been meaning to record for no real reason at all.  The recovered pew that we are using as a dining room bench:

One day, I'd like a nicer bench, but this one was free and I just love its functionality.  Especially when we can line up 4-5 kids there for a meal.

Almost free pillow covers to break up the leather on leather look.  I love the print on these -- although, I am apparently alone in this opinion!

And finally and most bestly, our small garden which is carved from the wilderness that is our property.

a possibly superlicious solution

and i don't use 's' words lightly. I should make a post catching this up on everyone being sick, me trying (yet again) to find my stay at home groove, family, friends, and life. Instead, I am crazy excited about grocery shopping. Grocery shopping is my nemesis. In fact, even though I stay at home now, Joe does a lot of the shopping. This solution is two-fold: 1) Making it a challenge with coupons, and 2) Going late at night ALONE. I've been trying to be really thrifty lately (see [possibly underwhelming] results here), but the second part of it is the part I'm excited about. Nora goes to bed by 8 pm and Joe and Birdy are normally asleep by 9:30 pm; so last night, I went around 9:30 pm to an almost empty grocery store and just took my time. While I walked the store, I listened to This American Life on my headphones/telephone. Pure bliss. I got home around 11:30 and rather than being tired, I felt rejuvenated and accomplished. Those two feelings are a rare occurrence around here and to have them together at the same time? Well that's just something worth blogging about.

thog life

i'm behind on this blog (among other things.) It's a vicious cycle -- I don't blog because I haven't blogged so I can't blog. Part of me thinks I should drop the blog if I'm going to turn it into a stressful thing to do but I really like having all of this information in one place and it's therapeutic sometimes to just put uncensored information out there. I mean, really, is there anything as self indulgent as my diary-all-about-me style of blogging? I love indulging though so I'm just going to brain dump here to feel 'caught up.' To my credit, I often think in blog form (really good blog form, I swear) and that should count for something... The term 'blinking' is already taken, so I'll call it 'thogging.' Goes perfectly with the tattoo I was considering...

{girls} I just am going to copy and paste some little items from Facebook statuses (stati?). I want to write my girls a letter each year of their life and have found the memories recorded here to be so helpful when writing them.

10.31.09 Awake. Looking at me. I swear she just smiled at me. ♥

11.08.09 I love it when Birdy laughs in her sleep ♥

11.12.09 I need time to stop for a bit. I blinked and she's three weeks old.

11.28.09 Playing with Nora. My pretend name is 'Alice.' Hers is 'pwetend refwigewator.'

11.28.09 Nora is for real cleaning for her pretend party

12.16.09 Birdy slept five hours IN A ROW!

12.20.09 Nora just declared 'Christmas in Washington' to be boring.

12.22.09 2 months old and full of gummy smiles ♥

01.06.10 On our first outing without diapers (for Nora, at least)!!!!

01.06.10 Evidently God has repeatedly asked Nora to 'keep an eye on Her cat.' Oh, and Her cat's name is Ellie - in case you were wondering.

01.09 Birdy slept through the night, 10p - 6:30a, and then slept from 8a - 12p. Let's hope she has found a love of sleep matched only by my own. ♥

01.13.10 Nora, Age 3, "I'm going to pee in the shower... because that's what people do."

01.15.10 Nora Quote of the Day: "You're my dude. I love you, dude."

01.20.10 Birdy is teething already! Poor baby.

01.26.10 Nora tells Joe a Knock-Knock joke and then says, "Now you tell me one!" Joe says, "Knock Knock!" and Nora says, "Go Away!"

01.28.10 Birdy smiles and laughs the second I put the camera down!

01.31.10 Nora upon waking up this morning, "I'm get old like you dad. I'm getting old with all this sleeping."

02.09.10 I just told Nora to clean up her toys. She is reluctantly doing it while singing, "I love my dad! I love my dad!"

02.09.10 Nora told Joe that he is the 'pwoblem' and she is the 'lution' (solution).

Birdy's baptism (on 01.31.2010) went well. Y. and her family jumped through hoops to be there and it meant so much to have them there to celebrate with us. In true form, my worries that morning were all about how I looked, how much weight I haven't lost, and how much my lisp would come into play. (Should the word 'lisp' have an 's' in it?) I'm so glad to report that once we were there with family, friends, and community, all of that flew from my head and it was all about dedicating our sweet baby girl.

Birdy wore the same dress that Nora wore for her baptism (in picture in post below.) It's just a simple, regular dress, but it made me happy to see it worn again. It was just a wonderful day. Unbelievably, we didn't get a family snapshot. Joe took a couple of shots of guests at our home -- I'll have to check them out and see if any have good shots of Birdy or Nora.
I've been helping my mom sort through her basement at the new house. The basement is full of things to be unpacked, organized, sold, or donated. Last week we found my baby Joey doll and my seven dwarfs. Nora has been having a blast with them.

As you can see, Joey was inspired by Archie Bunker's grandson and is anatomically correct. My parents bought it as a joke for one of my older sisters and she hated it. No worries, though, I was right there to scoop him up and love him. And now Nora has taken the torch. I'll have to take a picture of ours because his hair is all matted giving him a major receding hairline to compliment his charming looks.

{homekeeping} This leads me to the question~ what toys will you keep for your children? I will keep an obvious toys (favorite baby dolls, etc.) and I guess I'd keep any toys I deem good to keep around for visiting children. How do you decide? I don't want boxes of unused toys, but I am finding it fun to discover my old toys and share them with Nora.

My quest to find a homekeeping method that fits my insanity is continuing. I'm finding FlyLady to be very helpful. I used her methods after Nora was born and I was dealing with postpartum depression. This time is different as I'm not going back to work and need to find a different sort of groove. I've only gone as far as Day 4 (for weeks now) and am just trying to incorporate those concepts into my everyday -- I'll move on once these are well ensconced into my routine. These are not yer exact steps but my hybrid concepts are: prepare what you can the night before, take care of the little things as they occur, note how things flow best, and start the day off ready for anything (showered, dressed, makeup, whatever you need in order to possibly walk out the door). I especially like her 15 minute assignments. When I'm overwhelmed or unsure where to start, it is shocking how much can be done in just 15 minutes. Setting the timer and GOING always results in awesome stuff.

My goal is to have a kickass routine that flexes without stressing me out. Right now, it seems that Mondays and Fridays are great for getting all the laundry done and getting the house in order either prepping for or recovering from fun, relaxed family weekends. I feel dumb for putting this here because I know that most everyone does much more than I do in a day without the drama or imbalance. But it's my blog, damn it, and I need to get something rolling here.

Monday: Laundry, Bedding, Cleaning, Vacuuming Tuesday: Errands/Playdates/Creative Endeavors Wednesday: Have Mom over so that I can go volunteer or work on special projects at home. Thursday: Library Storytime then lunch and afternoon with Mom Friday: Laundry, Cleaning, Vacuuming, Meal Planning Daily: at least one load of laundry, dishes, litterbox, straightening, bills, picking up -- where does grocery shopping fit?

I'm learning that clean enough really is enough. I have a real love of having EVERYTHING done at the same time. That is just not currently realistic; nor is it balanced. If I ever go back to the work world (after the girls go back to school? what will i do?), I will get a cleaning service so that I can enjoy that everything is clean feeling without giving up time with the girls. But for now I need to remember that Birdy won't always be a tiny little baby who nurses every other minute of the day ~ and because it won't last I should just soak it all up and know that everything else will fall into place in time.

{totally random me stuff} On top of the regular February blahs, I have hair falling out by the truckload. I remember this from having Nora, but forgot how MUCH hair. It's just what I need when I'm feeling fat, pale, and depressed. I'm considering going tanning a couple of times just for that feeling of the sun. I swore off being a tanimal after Nora was born, but this is more like therapy for S.A.D. :P

Nursing Birdy has been the most wonderful experience for me. Nora was born at 33 weeks and my milk barely ever came in. She was in NICU and I was pumping every couple of hours day and night. I would only get an ounce or two each pumping session. Couple all of that with PPD and it just became impossible. This time around, it has been easy going and wonderful. I just can't say enough about how much I'm enjoying it all. The bonding, the convenience, the two of us... all of it. That said, my boobs are crizazy huge and I'm getting worried about them post breastfeeding. The are ridiculous and so ugly to me. The biggest nursing bra I could get was and I/J and I'm busting out of that. Before breastfeeding, they were about an F -- which was more than I'd like and now? Blech. Its worth it but I'm seriously considering a reduction once Birdy is done breastfeeding.

{stuff} Winter has brought its normal gift of dry, itchy skin. Here's what I'm loving:

Cetaphil for my face. It cleanses so gently and is so affordable.

Lush Sympathy for the Skin. Best. Cream. Ever.

car seat advice - help

needed. I currently have an old Graco infant seat that I used for Nora. It was a hand-me-down from c. and I'm considering buying the Britax Chaperone to replace it. I'm weighing all options and really, just getting nowhere. I need to quiet my brain over it and just make a decision. Recap:

We have this: (only ours looks more.... used) Its an old hand me down Graco model that is not yet expired but will be soon (although not before we'd be done with it.) We never use the stroller with it.

I'm considering this: It's the Britax Chaperone infant car seat and runs about $230. Babies R Us is having their trade-in event which means I could get 25% off if I purchase before 02/20. Not a problem -- if I'm going to get a new car seat then the sooner the better.

Issues

• when I think about replacing it, I feel guilty because if its really not safe enough then why the hell did I have my precious Nora in it? Here's why: I didn't know better and by the time I started to learn more, Nora was in a new seat.
• Birdy is 3 months old, about 15 pounds and 25 inches long. The new seat would go to 30 pounds and 32 inches. How long would she really remain in an infant seat? 3 more months? 6 more months? What amount of time would be worth switching? With Nora, I hated the baby 'bucket', so I changed her quickly to a Britax convertible, and just used a sling to transport her. Nora loved the sling -- Birdy does not. This time around I still think that the baby bucket is a heavy pain in the ass. Only I also think its really useful. I can put it down, if necessary, to manage Nora, I have a 'place' for Birdy to sit in the library or other places, I can bring Birdy in sleeping from the car, and I can get Birdy all ready before we ever have to go outside.
• I have crazy worries of Birdy being hurt. I don't know if this is some sort of hormonal new(ish) mama thing or some sort of universal warning system that I should heed. Irrationally, because I've now considered a new seat, I now torture myself with the thought of what if something happened and I didn't get her the best seat?
• We don't have the money for the seat lying around but it wouldn't kill us and I suppose I'd be able to sell it on Craigslist when we're done....
• Here are the other seats we have. Nora's Britax Frontier: , a Britax Marathon (Joe's car) , and a Britax Boulevard (Joe's car)
  

Help me please. What would you do?

punches, sabotage, and redemption

i have eleventy drafts of this post and am determined to get it out even if its incomplete and imperfect. Self sabotage and redemption are recurring themes in my life and the other day, another one of my phone conversations with m. led to the topic. She was saying that she understood the draw of physical contact sports like boxing or football -- that she bets the hit feels good in a psychic sort of way. Like you know its coming and you know you deserve (or at least are going to get) something, so its just nice to get it over with. This resonates deep within me. Now m. has somehow never seen Fight Club; this led to a discussion of the popularity of sparring/kickboxing/etc. classes for women and whether a women's fight club might be just the thing. I can't really do our conversation justice but will just examine a few points that stuck with me...

If you took your 'beating' physically, would you be less likely to put up with emotional or psychological garbage from others? This starts with the assumption that you believe you deserve or need or something negativity/difficulty/abuse. It sounds so obvious in black and white, but the truth is that I do believe it. And another truth is that when I've left various kickboxing/self defense/sparring classes, I've felt invincible. Not just physically. This feeling doesn't come from my yoga or step aerobics classes. {disclaimer: it has been years since I've attended ANY of these classes; lest I mislead you.}
Now, this is sick, but this is my true observation, as well: Repeatedly, abuse and negativity have, for a lack of a better way to describe it, brought out the best in me. It primitively frees me to be the best I can be. I told you it was sick so don't look at me like that. This freedom to be my best leads me to what I think my actual issue is: REDEMPTION. Do I believe I deserve bad things so much that getting them is a sweet relief that allows me to go on and become something good? Here's a self-sabotage example: I have always struggled with food/weight issues. Certain foods are like wonderful punishments for me -- double stuff oreos fit into this category. They're horrible for your body, destroy any diet you might try, and are delicious. Except I need to eat them until my stomach hurts. Like HAVE to do that. If they are in the house, I have to eat them until I hurt -- but then? Oh, that moment when I can throw the package away! It makes me want to be light, and good, and clean, and accomplished, and creative, and, and, and... Another example: I've been struggling with some things that I've never really struggled with in the past. Things like homekeeping. Could it be that I am not driven to prove how good I am without the presence of an abusive husband or boss? Finally, I have not one abuser in my life and suddenly, I'm tripping over things that have, in the past, been my strong suit. When I was married to prick, I kept a perfect home, never ran out of groceries, and made meals without the frozen feeling it all gives me now. Now things are taken care of, but without the energetic drive I had before. What gives?
If this makes no sense its alright with me. I just need to figure this out somehow.

celebrate ruminate appreciate seal your fate

i love simplemom. So bear with me for one more interview from her site -- I found the other one clarifying.
1. What skill do you most want to learn this year?
I want to find and adopt a home management technique that really works for us. I am trying FLYLady right now and will move on to other systems if this one doesn't fit. I no longer want to spend time feeling guilty about the house not being perfect -- or even worse, spend time NOT doing something I think I should do so that the time is a double loss.
2. What is one skill you already have that you’d like to improve this year?
Really enjoying the good stuff.
3. Name three books you most definitely want to read in 2009.
'Love in Infant Monkeys' by Lydia Millet, 'Imperfect Birds' by Anne LaMott (can't wait for this one!), and 'Dry' by Augusten Burroughs
4. In what specific area do you most want to encourage your spouse? What are some ways you can do this?
He works very hard and I would like to be more supportive of his career aspirations and what it takes to attain them. I can do this by having the house running smoothly, appreciating his hard work, and encouraging him.
5. Think of one of your major life goals. What will you do this year to make you one step closer to reaching that goal?
My major life goals have all taken detours. I'm no longer sure where I want to land.
6. Name your kids’ biggest strengths. What are some ways you can specifically nourish those strengths?
Nora's strengths include how hardworking she is, her independence, creativity, and determination. I can offer more opportunities for her to try new things that stimulate her traits and expose her to possible new strengths.
Birdy is a good cuddler and I'd be more than happy to cuddle her all she can take.
7. Name your kids’ most prominent weakness. What are some ways you can encourage their ability to overcome it?
I feel blind to their weaknesses. I suppose that Nora is quite stubborn and can be inflexible. I can work on giving her tools to express her frustrations and to find acceptable solutions in situations where she does not want to flex.
8. What is one of your strengths? Think of some specific ways you can exercise it this year.
I'm good at leading things I am passionate about. I can join/start something at church. I can work hard to keep my heart open in all relationships so that I don't miss opportunities.
9. What is one of your weaknesses? Brainstorm some ideas on how you can overcome this deficiency.
My depression is a huge weakness. I can keep seeing the doctor and keep taking medications. But what I'd really hope for is finding my place on this earth again and enjoying health.
10. Think of an important relationship aside from your spouse and children. How will you nurture that relationship this year?
I pick Mom. I will work to support her and listen to her without an agenda of my own.
11. Name a few ways your physical health could be improved.
I could lose weight, become more active, and go to bed earlier.
12. Name a few ways your family’s financial health could be improved.
We could spend less, save up for some specific goals, and pay off debts.
13. In what way do you want to draw closer to God?
I want to fully trust Him and His grace. I could be more prayerful and less willful.
14. What is one area of home management that frustrates you? Think of some specific ways you could improve your attitude about it.
Grocery shopping and cooking dinner. I need to let go of my previous life (a lifetime ago) where my efforts were mistreated and learn to perform these tasks joyfully. OR figure out how to delegate them...
15. Have you ever created a family mission statement with your spouse? If so, why not do one for this year?
We need to do one for just the four of us. We've had one when we had no children and have created drafts for our family with Jordan and with Denise. It's time we have our own. As I reflect upon my reluctance to do so, I'm realizing that my symptoms of depression make me feel as though I cannot do what is 'right' or will fail Joe and the girls. One of my goals must be to find proper treatment --medication, if necessary-- to make the symptoms have less power in my life.
16. Name one specific thing you could do with your spouse this year that will deepen your intimacy.
Go away with him overnight. Support him in pursuing a hobby or class outside of our family.
17. What is something that is continually undone in your life? What will you do to fully complete it this year?
Our scrapbooks. I need to either catch up or let them go.
18. In what ways will you be involved with your local community?
Church, activities for Nora, and once Birdy is a bit older, volunteering for the local shelter.
19. What is one thing you’d like to accomplish by your birthday this year?
A smoothly running home.
20. Think of three words you’d like to describe your 2010.
Energetic, Organized, and Joyful.

nye ruminations

thanks to simplemom

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
The birth of our second daughter, Roberta Layne Mays.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Losing Dad.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Tied between quitting my horrid job and Mom moving to our town and joining our church.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Dealing with legal issues surrounding horrid job and BDSatan.

5. Pick three words to describe 2009.
Growth, Grief, Joy

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).
Sad, Great, Important

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking).
Challenging, Sad, Joyful

8. What were the best books you read this year?
"Push" by Sapphire, "The Shack" by William Young, "The Middle Place" by Kelly Corrigan, "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen, I also guiltily and deliciously enjoyed the Sookie Series by Charlaine Harris.

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
With Joe, Nora, and Birdy. Also with this blog and my cherished friends who read it. There were times when I really leaned on you. Thank you so much for the support and wisdom and laughter.

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Learning to be here without Dad.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
Maybe this year was about learning to stand. Learning to stand without Dad, standing up to BDSatan, standing up for myself and my children... standing.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
I'm learning to take more leaps of faith and to rest in grace.


13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
After having a disappointing experience with my first try, I've had a wonderful breastfeeding experience with Birdy.


14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I think I'm learning to dare to be just me.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?
Managing family events, finances, and paperwork.


16. What was your most challenging area of home management?
Meal planning and grocery shopping.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
This computer.


18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Any time spent with family -- especially the girls.

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
That I just may be enough.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you.
A year of great loss and even greater blessings.

what a merry christmas

we are so grateful and blessed to have enjoyed the holiday with our daughters, family, and friends. There are no huge highlights this year, but rather a pattern of calm joy. Now that I write that, I think that calm joy has been my aspiration in most situations. We baked cookies with friends on the 23rd:

On the 24th, we went to the Mays' as has become our tradition. The visit was nice and the three hour drives on both sides were better than expected. That night, we prepared for Santa:
The next morning, Joe and I were up before either of the girls. We had the tree lights on and were enjoying coffee when Nora peeked from the stairs and whispered, "He eat my cookie!"
The girls enjoyed opening their gifts. Nora was so pleased that Santa brought her the rocketship and fishing pole she requested. When I asked her later about her favorite gift, she said her rocketship without hesitation. Nora was a joy to watch open gifts this year. She was very gracious and polite saying things like, "This is just what I wanted!" or "This is my heart's wish!" all the while cleaning the wrapping paper up as she went.

We went to Mom's on Christmas Day. She is now just five minutes away! How I love that. It was our first Christmas without Dad and we all missed him. We don't sit around mourning him -- partly because my mom would never allow it. She is quite careful to remain strong (not robotic, but strong) in front of the girls. He would have been so proud of my mom, loved that Ben gave Becca a 'promise ring' this year and gotten a kick the plays that Johna and Hannah created. Even better, he would have been annoyed at the same things that annoyed me. And most of all, he would have loved little Roberta.

v-day d-day

joe got a vasectomy on friday. While we were pulling into the hospital parking lot -- hell, while we were in the hospital room, I was still saying things like 'This is the right thing' or 'This is what we want, right?' It's a strange place to be- to say deliberately that we will not have any more children.
Forever and ever, amen.
Even while holding our growing-too-fast infant daughter and loving every second.
We both agree that if we were younger, we would not be so quick to finalize this decision, but reality is that we are as old as we are and it just doesn't make sense. Reality once again interferes with my dream world. It's final and sad and right for us. And the truth is that we're both very interested in providing foster care -- after the girls are a bit older -- which could very well lead to a larger family.

not as funny

so i posted birdy's birth announcement here without noting my the troubles with them. I found the design on Etsy and was so excited because 1) I love it, and 2) I could order 4x6 prints and save tons. To top off my savings, I had heard good things about a new photo printing company (Arts Cow -- note this is not an endorsement) -- and when I went to their site, they had 100 free prints for new customers. Oh, imagine my good fortune! So about five weeks ago, I placed our order. A few days later, I received an email that my order had been printed and shipped. I ordered envelopes. addressed them, and eagerly welcomed the mail each day. Around Thanksgiving, I realized it had been much too long and contacted the company. They confirmed the information I had and added one, very important piece of information. The prints had indeed shipped on the day I had been told --from Hong Kong -- so could I please give it a few more days beyond the expected date? Each day since, I've weighed my options: should I reprint? what if they arrive? I hate to waste... how close will we now be to Christmas cards? should i insert them in the cards? skip it? but I've already addressed the envelopes!.. and on and on.
They arrived today. They're too dark. And they're going out. I can't give them another moment's thought -- not even to be wise about postage.

roberta layne

born under a good sign

just sent off for birdy's presidential congratulations card. I didn't try this for Nora for obvious reasons -- I'll let you know if it works. To get your own Presidential Birth Announcement Congratulations card, mail your birth announcement to:


White House Greetings Office
Room 39
Washington, DC 20500


When you send the birth announcement card to the above address be sure to include the following details: the name of your baby, the baby's date of birth, name of the parents, and the address to which you would like the card to be sent.

book recommendation for bringing second baby home 10.07.2009

we’ve read so many of them and most of them aren’t great. We are really liking this one:

sibling class valedictorian

ok. So there was no 'official' valedictorian, but we could totally tell that if there were to be one, it would be Nora. She LOVED sibling class at the hospital. I wish I could take her every week. She called the nurse her 'teacher' and went right up to her to say hello and later, to thank her. They learned about little babies, talked a bit about their babies, toured the labor and delivery floor, and then had a short movie and a snack. I was surprised at all the questions Nora could answer about her baby. Gender, name, even that she will sleep by her mama. We've never discussed it and nothing has been set up yet. A good reminder that they are always paying attention.

A couple of snapshots:

Nora dancing at TGIF restaurant

Nora all ready for western night at a church dinner

making life easier

with very little effort is my kind of thing. Knowing that baby Birdy will be here soon, I've taken a renewed interest in streamlining things in our lives. I checked "The Clutter Diet" by Lorie Marrero out of the library and read about half of it. It's full of great ideas, but I was close to being overwhelmed which would most definitely NOT result in my taking the advice offered. I will check it out another time when I'm ready to tackle more. Here's what I took from this reading and actually implemented painlessly:

• Get a Motivation Partner. The person can be via email or phone (not recommended in person as it can turn into a time suck). You both present what you intend to accomplish in a week and then check in with each other on a given day and time. So... I didn't really implement this one. Y. has been very busy and I intend for her to be my partner... for real. I'm gonna do it.
• Rather than deleting each email I receive because I've ordered from a company or signed up in the past for a newsletter, I've spent the past two weeks actually "unsubscribing" from each of them. The reduction in trash emails is tremendous.
• These three sites remove you from credit offers, magazine offers, and catalogs: www.dmachoice.org , www.CatalogChoice.org , www.optoutprescreen.com . As much as I look forward to going through the daily mail, the amount of waste (paper, resources, and time) is alarming. I can't wait to see the effect this has on our mail. DMA Choice even contacts the catalog companies directly on your behalf. All of this is FREE.
• Finally, I also updated our information for the state and federal do not call registries. Federal: www.donotcall.gov and State: ww.callcompliance.com/regulations/statelist.html

Even the items on here that don't really drain THAT much time, DO drain energy. Their very existence means that I must do one thing more -- even if it's hit the delete button. I'm also hoping that the lack of marketing results in a lack of spending. It seems logical that if I'm not hearing about these great 'deals' I won't be purchasing as much. Freeing up brain space AND money -- do you guys have any tricks I can add to my arsenal?

miscellany.

i'm so far behind here and keep hoping that i'll write something. Something eloquent and laconic and thorough. Alas, none of that is coming to me and the list of things I wish I had recorded keeps growing. So, in no particular order, here is my catch-up post:

We had our final Level II Ultrasound of Birdy last Monday. We couldn't see her face (because cooperation is overrated. And so predictable.) but everything else was good. They told us that she was 5 lbs, 2 oz which would put her in the 90th percentile (YES. The percentile business starts in the womb! :P) On Friday, I had my OB appt and they triple checked my measurements because I measured so large. The doctor said that she's looking forward to seeing who I'm growing so large and then when I expressed how much pain I'm in (back, varicosities, all of my bidness hurts), she laughed and said, "OH! We don't expect you to go all the way to your due date of 10/23! If we get you to 09/24, everything else is gravy." She confirmed that I should just do what I can and lie down as much as I can. All of this has made me feel so much better. I've felt like such a wimp lately. A lazy wimp at that.

Nisey is rocking and rolling. She goes to bed on time without being told too much about it, gets up on her own each morning and catches her bus. Nora and Nisey have a great time together every day -- I already dread the day she goes back home. Her grades (with the exception of science) are outstanding. We had her IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago -- it was exciting because it allows her to have quizzes and tests read to her. We've noticed with homework that if she reads the directions and then does the work, it tends to be all wrong... But if we read it to her, it's all correct. I will have to look further into how to help her gain skills in this area, but for now its an explanation for great homework and horrible tests (in science, especially). Socially, she is doing fine, as well. She eats lunch with some juniors (ooo la la) and seems to make friends everywhere... We also had Parents Night for here where we got to walk her schedule and meet each of her teachers. It was a strange experience because I felt like we should be too young to be there (given that we have a three year old and one on the way)... we laughed when we figured out that we fit right in and would just be the old folks at our own kids' parents' night. Each of the teachers was so complimentary about Nisey's positive attitude and sunny disposition. It was wonderful to hear.

Nora's third birthday was wonderful, as well. Wonderful. It's the first time that she's been aware of her special day and we all just soaked in the joy. She woke up to balloons and presents and all of us excitedly singing to her. Each gift was greeted with an amazed, "Oh, WOW!" She just loved each bit of it. We then headed out to Birdy's ultrasound appointment, did a little errand running, and then had lunch with friends. When we came home, we frosted and decorated the cake Nora baked the night before and we all cuddled up to watch a movie. That night she requested that we cook dinner outside, so we did just that. I'm not doing it justice, but it was a perfect day. We are so blessed and honored to share our lives with our wonderful little girl.

We have all of the clothing we kept from Nora out in order to sort through it for Birdy. The amount we kept is kind of amazing given that we were quite certain that Nora would be an only child. ;) I cannot comprehend that Nora was ever so small -- especially when looking at the preemie clothing that we had to roll up to put on her. God has been so good to us. I'd give an awful lot to hold that baby Nora once more... I remember how even at 4 lbs 13 oz, she'd make sure we held her JUST so - EVERY time. We used to call her little Noriega because she was such a dictator... Anyhow, I digress. I need to pull out, wash and organize the clothes we need now for Bird and then organize the rest so that we can easily access it as she grows. This is making me do NOTHING because we're still not done with everything upstairs. Nisey is in the office/guestroom, most of my office stuff is shoved around the playroom, and Nisey's room is chock full of everything from the playroom AND the guestroom. It's all just too much and I don't know where to go with it. Joe thinks he'll be done painting in the playroom by the end of this week and then we can start to move everything and everyone into their proper rooms. Let's hope this unfreezes my brain. Regardless (or irregardless and Joe likes to make me crazy with) of the rooms situation, I need to get things ready for Birdy because I can see the panic my lack of preparedness strikes into the heart of her father...

we're kind of famous

in a very, very small corner of the world...