preschool dropouts

to celebrate nora's last, delicious day of being two we put the potty chair away, bought some diapers, and dropped out of preschool. We Mays' girls are rebels through and through. Thank you all for your sage advice on letting this whole thing go for now. Nora couldn't be happier about it all -- she carried the diapers through the store so proudly, it would have been embarrassing if I wasn't already in love with all that she is. Tomorrow Joe will stay home from work and we'll all go to yet another ultrasound appointment for Birdy, do a little shopping, bake her a cake and then we'll all have dinner out. Saturday is her party. Nothing is done in preparation for it and really? I'm not worried about it.

oh! we're in a big recession? 'cuz nora thought

you said REGRESSION. We got a big ol' case of it over here and baby Birdy isn't even due for another eight weeks. I'm hesitant to even imagine how bad it could be once she's really here. It started slowly (as many insidious things do), but has risen to comedic proportions. Nora calls Joe "Da Da" and sits on his lap and says "goo goo" -- I don't even know where she heard about the "goo goo" part. She eats her dinner in the high chair she never used as a baby and daily requests (and is daily denied) bottles and diapers. Potty training? Gone the way of easy credit and lawn jarts. You might be reading this thinking that you would never allow this -- but as I said, it's been a slow infiltration. I also hate to turn things involving her physical autonomy into a power struggle.
For a while we were able to slow the regression by talk of school and parks and all sorts of great big girl things. But now, she openly expresses her lack of interest in it all. One day she was talking to herself in her car seat and I overheard her say, "If dey bwing me to teacher, I tell dem no dank you, I not go." Yesterday, she said, "Mom, I just stay with you. No school." When we passed a park she has been extremely interested in, I told her that it was for potty trained kids -- thinking that would elicit anger if not motivation. She simply said, "Oh. I go dere one day when I big girl. I a baby."
The thing is, she doesn't HAVE to go to preschool this year. The cut off is her actual birthday (09/01) and she'll have to attend preschool for three years (can that be right?) because the state off for Kindergarten here is June 30th. I just thought she'd really like it and benefit from it. A selfish part of me wants to just keep her home -- I won't have to drag Birdy out into the winter weather if we don't do preschool this year. Joe says he'd be glad to forgo the tuition if she really isn't digging it... Oh, what to do. I bet this will be the turning point of her great success or psychosis one day and I don't have a clue what to do.

fun article to get us through

{excerpt of the 39 things from}
39 Things Every Mom Should Know
by Kacy Faulconer
Parents Magazine

{bolding is my own}

1 You never have to go to obnoxious kid-themed restaurants. Ever. I wish someone had told me that.
2 Don't make birthday parties a huge deal.
3 Do your chores while kids are awake. Using up naptime to wash dishes or clean the bathroom is truly soul-crushing.
4 Put Band-Aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?
5 If the kids are awake, bite the bullet and be awake yourself. You'll waste so many hours trying futilely to extend early-morning snoozes that it's not worth it. If you are sick, pregnant, or it's the middle of the night, ignore this advice.
6 Just throw away the poopy underwear.
7 Don't beat yourself up if you have to use a bribe.
8 Teach your kids not to pee outside unless you're camping - you'll be glad you did. But if other people's kids do it, don't judge the parents too harshly - it's all about karma. (If you're in the midst of potty training, all bets are off. You've gotta do what you've gotta do.)
9 Buy cheap shoes when kids are little. Feet grow faster than you think.
10 Don't forget about board games. You'll suffer through way too much Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, but Connect Four and Battleship aren't half bad. And Clue rocks.
11 Embrace their quirks.
12 Know this: That stain won't come out. And it's okay. (The sooner you accept this, the better.)
13 At some point it will be February. Things will seem bleak. You will think about vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, and organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. Know that it will happen again at the end of summer, right before school starts. It's the circle of life, baby.
14 Always get boys' haircuts at barber shops instead of hair salons.
15 Answer this question: What is the worst thing that can happen if your kids sleep in their clothes?
16 Never stifle a generous inclination.
17Try to like what they like. It kind of sucks when it's Bob the Builder, but the payoff will come when they discover Lemony Snicket.
18 Teach them to pump on the swings ASAP.
19 If your child falls asleep occasionally without brushing her teeth, don't wake her; baby teeth do eventually fall out.
20 I know you are supposed to use natural consequences to punish bad behavior, but sometimes it's hard to think of natural consequences. In these cases try threatening your kids with clipping their toenails or some other activity they dread. I've had great success with this one, but you must find your own.
21 Get used to the word zerrissenheit. It means a state of disjointedness, and it's the new normal for most of us. At least you can feel fancy because it's German.
22 Buy kids deodorant before they need it.
23 Teach your children to make their own breakfast - and allow enough time so they can do it without pressure.
24 I can't stress this enough: Use duvet covers on your comforters and forget about a top sheet. Not only will you thank me for this advice, but your kids will thank me as well when they are learning to make their bed.
25 Remember clogging lessons are not in the best interest of the child.
26 Don't administer a punishment that hurts you more than it does them.
27 Always pack wipes. If your kids go somewhere without you, send along wipes. It's like having a mom with them.
28 Do not allow the word wienies in your home.
29 Dress your little girls like, well, little girls.
30 Make sure your kids know how they like their eggs and burgers cooked. You don't want them to feel stress when ordering at the diner.
31 It's fine to brag about yourself to your kids.
32 Buy quaint wooden toys and hand-knit stuffed animals. But don't expect your kids to play with them.
33 Just say "No" to any toy or doll that comes with packets that have to be mixed with water.
34 Teach them to like cool music. Why suffer through The Wiggles when you could be enjoying Wilco or counting along with Feist?
35 Don't buy the most expensive school-picture package. It's a waste of money.
36 Give out awards for actual achievements.
37 You're never too old to dress up and decorate your house for Halloween. And it's more fun for everyone if you are into it. It also entitles you to more candy.
38 If the school year, new babysitter, or karate class gets off to a rocky start, don't totally stress out about it. Instead, think of the improvement that can be made by the end of the year.
39 Independence is a wonderful thing. For everyone. So is together time. Make sure you have a healthy dose of both.

first trying days

today is nisey's first day of high school here. She is settled in well considering that we had to put her in the not-quite-finished guest room while we finish the girls' new play room and THEN move everything out of the room that will actually belong to Denise. She has a history of mediocre (that's me being generous) grades because she seriously does almost nothing for school. This year, Nisey, Joe, Mom and I are going to turn that around and enjoy the incredible show. She's an amazing kid who I know will bring about amazing things. Last night she said that she was nervous and I commiserated with her that of course she was nervous... she then said, I'm more nervous to find out what happens when I really try. I, for one, can't wait for her to find out.

say a little prayer

lately, our pastor has been giving us a little daily prayer for the week. They've been serendipitous for me so I'm going to keep them here. Just in case they might come in handy.

Last week's: "Lord, I see what's coming down the pike for me today -- I see stresses and the temptations and the pain. I CAN'T deal with it today. So You deal with it through me."

This week's: "Lord, renew my mind, heart, and life so that You may rule in my life today."

I especially like the so YOU deal with it. :P

we're kind of famous

in a very, very small corner of the world...

politics and fashion

last week, we had the opportunity to drive to elkhart to hear president obama speak. We went with our friend B. and had a great time. Unfortunately, we didn't get to 'see' the President -- but we did hear him and it was fun to be out and around active people. Here's a picture of Nora from the day.

The other day Nora told me that when she was a baby and had to go to the doctor she would "scream her eyebrows off" until I held her. Another day, when she had an 'accident' pooping in her panties and I was stressing that she is NOT to do that, she said, "I'll DIE if I don't have my poop with me." I've never heard her use the word "die" so it cracked me up. Here's another picture of how to properly dress to play in the rain. If you don't have a winter hat that you've outgrown, I suppose any hat would do. She said she didn't want to get beat with rain on the head.

And just a general update just because. I'm especially stressed out about my former boss lately. Nothing has changed. Just knowing that I still may have to deal with the bullshit seems to overwhelm me. I'll blame pregnancy for the overreaction to that which I cannot control. Also, in interesting and gross pregnancy news, I've developed varicose veins of the cooch. I thought I was bringing some exotic malady to my doctor's attention but she laughed and said, I don't even have to examine you! It's varicose veins and they're normal and may get much worse by the end of the pregnancy. I'll leave you with this pleasant visual: too much lifting, time on my feet, etc. could cause the veins to resemble (this is me quoting a doctor) "a bag of worms." I may never get out of bed again.

the look of disappointment

was so sad.

Joe (sounding casual, yet raising his eyebrows a little...): You got a package from some place called Spanx...

baby birdy

this is our best shot from her 3D ultrasound. The tech tried everything to get this little baby to move a little so that we could see her face all in one shot to no avail. Birdy hid behind my bones, the placenta and her hand. No easy perfect shots for us. Sort of reminds me of another little girl I know and love. :)