grandma's notes

dearest becca,

my heart is breaking for you, for caitie, for me, for all of us. Each person I see smiling makes me want to kick them in the head to help them understand that Caitie is gone. when i was 19, i lost my good friend Donna. She was my only true friend in Texas and our friendship had been forged upon the unfortunate similarities of us both being married to assholes. Donna, being much smarter than I, left her asshole and began to truly blossom. On her birthday, she was killed in a car accident and my heart was just torn open. Grandma sent me the following note which was a comfort to me and as I re-read it, I'm certain it was meant for you, too. Bear with the grandma-isms and me adding your name. I just know this is for you.

Dear Sarah (and Becca),

My sincere sympathy in the loss of a dear friend. I was reminded of how I lost a good friend too when I was seventeen -- I was the 'hired' girl and he, the 'hired' man -- we had a very rainy day which turned into a big flood over a wide area.

We rec'd calls from parents if we could get to a teacher & her school children who were marooned on what looked like a small island. A wagon & team of horses and the hired man tried to get to them -- But in a few seconds the wagon was capsized & horses & driver disappeared before my eyes. We found his body the following day. I have never been so affected in my whole life -- I had a hard time getting over it and I know you will, too. Your mother said she was from the East -- We are living in a troublesome world.

Your mother is so worried about you. Sarah(Becca) ask God for help not to get what you want but what He knows you need. Let your request be known unto God. He is the only one who really loves you and knows what you need.

Your mother said your friend's friend was killed too? Was he in the Army? I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It must be bad for the parents too. They were both so young.

Love, Grandma
My sweet girl. Know that you are never alone even when you're feeling completely isolated. We all carry you in our hearts and souls -- specially me.

I love you.