love and miscellany

on father's day we celebrated joe and visited the cemetery where my dad is buried. Some of my sisters have already gone out there but this was the first visit for Nisey, Johna, Susie, Mom and I. It was difficult and heartbreaking. Nora hugged his gravestone though we never told her where we were or why. The day was a good reminder of just how much sister hugs can make life okay. When we were pulling up, Johna said quietly, "I don't know if I can hold it back." I said, "Oh, honey. You never have to hold anything back." She replied, "I just don't want to let out my scream cries." And my heart broke. She's only eight and its just not fair.

On the same day in the evening, Nora started saying she was 'bad' as an explanation for why she wasn't doing what she had been asked. I explained to her that sometimes we all feel crabby and that we still had to do our things. Nora quickly adopted this as her own. Throws toy? -- "I cwabby" Can't pick up toys? -- "I cwabby" Want to harass the cat? --- "Mona, I cwabby. You cwabby? Huh, baby? (chasing her now) You cwabby like me?"

On Monday at a store, a lady asked Nora what her baby's name was. (Nora has started hauling 1 - 4 baby dolls with us everywhere) Nora just looked at her. When we walked away from the lady Nora told me, "This baby can't talk. It not real. It peeetend." Seriously. How would it tell her it's name?

Nora has been having headaches for about a month. They only occur once or twice a week and Tylenol clears them right up. I took her to the doctor because of the specific placement of the 'ache.' It's always the bottom, back, right part of her head. The doctor checked her out head to toe and said that we should keep a journal of all future headaches to see if we see a pattern or any changes. The next step would be scans and tests -- something we both agree that we do not want to rush into. Hopefully there will be no more episodes.

As long as I was on a doctoring kick, I scheduled a hearing test for myself. My hearing is horrible and has gotten worse in the past year. Every interaction with people (especially strangers) requires a lot of 'work' to hear. So, not surprisingly, I need hearing aids. Tomorrow, Y and I go for the fitting. I hope they're either invisible or wicked cool...