m&m's wedding

was beautiful and wonderful and everything a wedding should be. Everyone was so calm and having such a great time all day --- even when we had to start all over with our hair after the salon made us look horrid. I had some sciatica issues standing up there, but other than that, I did well. Every guest seemed so truly happy for the couple -- every detail fell into place -- I could go on and on. It was just a wonderful start to their new wonderful life together. Couple of photos (the photographer [who I couldn't recommend more]: http://www.angeleyesphotography.com/)

a new low

i just suggested a movie to my beautiful little girl who wanted to go play outside. Between the swelling, sciatica, and braxton hicks, I can barely stand much less play. Poor Nora. Luckily, she's happily cuddled up with me watching The Little Einsteins Huge Adventure...

As long as we're sitting here, I'll share some funny things she's said lately:


The phone rang one morning and as I went to pick it up, she held up her hand and said, "I'm not here." I don't know where she even got this from because we screen our calls and are known for not picking up (as opposed to being creative about whether or not we are home.)


Sitting in her carseat the other night, she said, "I texting peoples." Us: "Oh yeah? Who are you texting?" Nora: "BOYS!" Poor Joe. I blame Nisey.


She saw a short bus and said that THAT was the bus she wanted to ride. As many of you know, we've had a complete regression for potty training... So I said, "Oh! Buses are for BIG kids know how to use the potty." She said, "Mom, I know how to use potty, I just not do it. Okay?"

We were asking her the sounds that different things make and asked her what Daddy says. She said, "Waa waaa waaaa. I wanna be the Mommy!" When I asked her what I always say, she said, "how much you love grandpa."

In the car this morning, Nora told me that she doesn't like clowns and wants them taken out of the circus. I couldn't agree more. I'm not a fan of the circus so I'm blaming television for her knowledge of them. However, I take complete credit for her absolute genius evaluation of those damn spooky clowns.

The other night we took a bath together and she was putting bubbles in my hair and on my belly. As you may know, Nora has had no interest in this baby process. That she was paying any attention to the belly was a gigantic step. I told her how the baby loved it and said oh, if you put your hand on my belly you can feel her moving because she likes it so much! She stopped what she was doing and said, "you give me YOUR hand!" So I did and she proceeded to put it on her belly and the exaggeratedly moved her belly around and said, "SEE? I'm growing a big sister!"

We're doing the sibling tour this weekend at the hospital. Hopefully, it will be exciting to her...

Or not.

falling in love again

last night, i fell in love with birdy. It's not like I haven't loved her from the moment I knew of her, but this was a more concrete and specific kind of thing. I talked to her on my three hour ride and laughed and just felt so much gratitude and love for her. Specifically HER. Not the idea of a baby, but this little Birdy.

miscellany.

i'm so far behind here and keep hoping that i'll write something. Something eloquent and laconic and thorough. Alas, none of that is coming to me and the list of things I wish I had recorded keeps growing. So, in no particular order, here is my catch-up post:

We had our final Level II Ultrasound of Birdy last Monday. We couldn't see her face (because cooperation is overrated. And so predictable.) but everything else was good. They told us that she was 5 lbs, 2 oz which would put her in the 90th percentile (YES. The percentile business starts in the womb! :P) On Friday, I had my OB appt and they triple checked my measurements because I measured so large. The doctor said that she's looking forward to seeing who I'm growing so large and then when I expressed how much pain I'm in (back, varicosities, all of my bidness hurts), she laughed and said, "OH! We don't expect you to go all the way to your due date of 10/23! If we get you to 09/24, everything else is gravy." She confirmed that I should just do what I can and lie down as much as I can. All of this has made me feel so much better. I've felt like such a wimp lately. A lazy wimp at that.

Nisey is rocking and rolling. She goes to bed on time without being told too much about it, gets up on her own each morning and catches her bus. Nora and Nisey have a great time together every day -- I already dread the day she goes back home. Her grades (with the exception of science) are outstanding. We had her IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago -- it was exciting because it allows her to have quizzes and tests read to her. We've noticed with homework that if she reads the directions and then does the work, it tends to be all wrong... But if we read it to her, it's all correct. I will have to look further into how to help her gain skills in this area, but for now its an explanation for great homework and horrible tests (in science, especially). Socially, she is doing fine, as well. She eats lunch with some juniors (ooo la la) and seems to make friends everywhere... We also had Parents Night for here where we got to walk her schedule and meet each of her teachers. It was a strange experience because I felt like we should be too young to be there (given that we have a three year old and one on the way)... we laughed when we figured out that we fit right in and would just be the old folks at our own kids' parents' night. Each of the teachers was so complimentary about Nisey's positive attitude and sunny disposition. It was wonderful to hear.

Nora's third birthday was wonderful, as well. Wonderful. It's the first time that she's been aware of her special day and we all just soaked in the joy. She woke up to balloons and presents and all of us excitedly singing to her. Each gift was greeted with an amazed, "Oh, WOW!" She just loved each bit of it. We then headed out to Birdy's ultrasound appointment, did a little errand running, and then had lunch with friends. When we came home, we frosted and decorated the cake Nora baked the night before and we all cuddled up to watch a movie. That night she requested that we cook dinner outside, so we did just that. I'm not doing it justice, but it was a perfect day. We are so blessed and honored to share our lives with our wonderful little girl.

We have all of the clothing we kept from Nora out in order to sort through it for Birdy. The amount we kept is kind of amazing given that we were quite certain that Nora would be an only child. ;) I cannot comprehend that Nora was ever so small -- especially when looking at the preemie clothing that we had to roll up to put on her. God has been so good to us. I'd give an awful lot to hold that baby Nora once more... I remember how even at 4 lbs 13 oz, she'd make sure we held her JUST so - EVERY time. We used to call her little Noriega because she was such a dictator... Anyhow, I digress. I need to pull out, wash and organize the clothes we need now for Bird and then organize the rest so that we can easily access it as she grows. This is making me do NOTHING because we're still not done with everything upstairs. Nisey is in the office/guestroom, most of my office stuff is shoved around the playroom, and Nisey's room is chock full of everything from the playroom AND the guestroom. It's all just too much and I don't know where to go with it. Joe thinks he'll be done painting in the playroom by the end of this week and then we can start to move everything and everyone into their proper rooms. Let's hope this unfreezes my brain. Regardless (or irregardless and Joe likes to make me crazy with) of the rooms situation, I need to get things ready for Birdy because I can see the panic my lack of preparedness strikes into the heart of her father...

say a little prayer, part two

two more daily prayers from our sermon series...

"Lord, Surround me with your truth today and every day, so that I may know what you determine is right and have the will to do what is right today."

"Lord, Reconstruct my thinking today. Renew my mind so that you can rebuild my character by your truth."

Me? I'm sticking with the 'I can see what's coming today and think You should handle it."

preschool dropouts

to celebrate nora's last, delicious day of being two we put the potty chair away, bought some diapers, and dropped out of preschool. We Mays' girls are rebels through and through. Thank you all for your sage advice on letting this whole thing go for now. Nora couldn't be happier about it all -- she carried the diapers through the store so proudly, it would have been embarrassing if I wasn't already in love with all that she is. Tomorrow Joe will stay home from work and we'll all go to yet another ultrasound appointment for Birdy, do a little shopping, bake her a cake and then we'll all have dinner out. Saturday is her party. Nothing is done in preparation for it and really? I'm not worried about it.

oh! we're in a big recession? 'cuz nora thought

you said REGRESSION. We got a big ol' case of it over here and baby Birdy isn't even due for another eight weeks. I'm hesitant to even imagine how bad it could be once she's really here. It started slowly (as many insidious things do), but has risen to comedic proportions. Nora calls Joe "Da Da" and sits on his lap and says "goo goo" -- I don't even know where she heard about the "goo goo" part. She eats her dinner in the high chair she never used as a baby and daily requests (and is daily denied) bottles and diapers. Potty training? Gone the way of easy credit and lawn jarts. You might be reading this thinking that you would never allow this -- but as I said, it's been a slow infiltration. I also hate to turn things involving her physical autonomy into a power struggle.
For a while we were able to slow the regression by talk of school and parks and all sorts of great big girl things. But now, she openly expresses her lack of interest in it all. One day she was talking to herself in her car seat and I overheard her say, "If dey bwing me to teacher, I tell dem no dank you, I not go." Yesterday, she said, "Mom, I just stay with you. No school." When we passed a park she has been extremely interested in, I told her that it was for potty trained kids -- thinking that would elicit anger if not motivation. She simply said, "Oh. I go dere one day when I big girl. I a baby."
The thing is, she doesn't HAVE to go to preschool this year. The cut off is her actual birthday (09/01) and she'll have to attend preschool for three years (can that be right?) because the state off for Kindergarten here is June 30th. I just thought she'd really like it and benefit from it. A selfish part of me wants to just keep her home -- I won't have to drag Birdy out into the winter weather if we don't do preschool this year. Joe says he'd be glad to forgo the tuition if she really isn't digging it... Oh, what to do. I bet this will be the turning point of her great success or psychosis one day and I don't have a clue what to do.

fun article to get us through

{excerpt of the 39 things from}
39 Things Every Mom Should Know
by Kacy Faulconer
Parents Magazine

{bolding is my own}

1 You never have to go to obnoxious kid-themed restaurants. Ever. I wish someone had told me that.
2 Don't make birthday parties a huge deal.
3 Do your chores while kids are awake. Using up naptime to wash dishes or clean the bathroom is truly soul-crushing.
4 Put Band-Aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?
5 If the kids are awake, bite the bullet and be awake yourself. You'll waste so many hours trying futilely to extend early-morning snoozes that it's not worth it. If you are sick, pregnant, or it's the middle of the night, ignore this advice.
6 Just throw away the poopy underwear.
7 Don't beat yourself up if you have to use a bribe.
8 Teach your kids not to pee outside unless you're camping - you'll be glad you did. But if other people's kids do it, don't judge the parents too harshly - it's all about karma. (If you're in the midst of potty training, all bets are off. You've gotta do what you've gotta do.)
9 Buy cheap shoes when kids are little. Feet grow faster than you think.
10 Don't forget about board games. You'll suffer through way too much Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, but Connect Four and Battleship aren't half bad. And Clue rocks.
11 Embrace their quirks.
12 Know this: That stain won't come out. And it's okay. (The sooner you accept this, the better.)
13 At some point it will be February. Things will seem bleak. You will think about vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, and organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. Know that it will happen again at the end of summer, right before school starts. It's the circle of life, baby.
14 Always get boys' haircuts at barber shops instead of hair salons.
15 Answer this question: What is the worst thing that can happen if your kids sleep in their clothes?
16 Never stifle a generous inclination.
17Try to like what they like. It kind of sucks when it's Bob the Builder, but the payoff will come when they discover Lemony Snicket.
18 Teach them to pump on the swings ASAP.
19 If your child falls asleep occasionally without brushing her teeth, don't wake her; baby teeth do eventually fall out.
20 I know you are supposed to use natural consequences to punish bad behavior, but sometimes it's hard to think of natural consequences. In these cases try threatening your kids with clipping their toenails or some other activity they dread. I've had great success with this one, but you must find your own.
21 Get used to the word zerrissenheit. It means a state of disjointedness, and it's the new normal for most of us. At least you can feel fancy because it's German.
22 Buy kids deodorant before they need it.
23 Teach your children to make their own breakfast - and allow enough time so they can do it without pressure.
24 I can't stress this enough: Use duvet covers on your comforters and forget about a top sheet. Not only will you thank me for this advice, but your kids will thank me as well when they are learning to make their bed.
25 Remember clogging lessons are not in the best interest of the child.
26 Don't administer a punishment that hurts you more than it does them.
27 Always pack wipes. If your kids go somewhere without you, send along wipes. It's like having a mom with them.
28 Do not allow the word wienies in your home.
29 Dress your little girls like, well, little girls.
30 Make sure your kids know how they like their eggs and burgers cooked. You don't want them to feel stress when ordering at the diner.
31 It's fine to brag about yourself to your kids.
32 Buy quaint wooden toys and hand-knit stuffed animals. But don't expect your kids to play with them.
33 Just say "No" to any toy or doll that comes with packets that have to be mixed with water.
34 Teach them to like cool music. Why suffer through The Wiggles when you could be enjoying Wilco or counting along with Feist?
35 Don't buy the most expensive school-picture package. It's a waste of money.
36 Give out awards for actual achievements.
37 You're never too old to dress up and decorate your house for Halloween. And it's more fun for everyone if you are into it. It also entitles you to more candy.
38 If the school year, new babysitter, or karate class gets off to a rocky start, don't totally stress out about it. Instead, think of the improvement that can be made by the end of the year.
39 Independence is a wonderful thing. For everyone. So is together time. Make sure you have a healthy dose of both.

first trying days

today is nisey's first day of high school here. She is settled in well considering that we had to put her in the not-quite-finished guest room while we finish the girls' new play room and THEN move everything out of the room that will actually belong to Denise. She has a history of mediocre (that's me being generous) grades because she seriously does almost nothing for school. This year, Nisey, Joe, Mom and I are going to turn that around and enjoy the incredible show. She's an amazing kid who I know will bring about amazing things. Last night she said that she was nervous and I commiserated with her that of course she was nervous... she then said, I'm more nervous to find out what happens when I really try. I, for one, can't wait for her to find out.

say a little prayer

lately, our pastor has been giving us a little daily prayer for the week. They've been serendipitous for me so I'm going to keep them here. Just in case they might come in handy.

Last week's: "Lord, I see what's coming down the pike for me today -- I see stresses and the temptations and the pain. I CAN'T deal with it today. So You deal with it through me."

This week's: "Lord, renew my mind, heart, and life so that You may rule in my life today."

I especially like the so YOU deal with it. :P

we're kind of famous

in a very, very small corner of the world...

politics and fashion

last week, we had the opportunity to drive to elkhart to hear president obama speak. We went with our friend B. and had a great time. Unfortunately, we didn't get to 'see' the President -- but we did hear him and it was fun to be out and around active people. Here's a picture of Nora from the day.

The other day Nora told me that when she was a baby and had to go to the doctor she would "scream her eyebrows off" until I held her. Another day, when she had an 'accident' pooping in her panties and I was stressing that she is NOT to do that, she said, "I'll DIE if I don't have my poop with me." I've never heard her use the word "die" so it cracked me up. Here's another picture of how to properly dress to play in the rain. If you don't have a winter hat that you've outgrown, I suppose any hat would do. She said she didn't want to get beat with rain on the head.

And just a general update just because. I'm especially stressed out about my former boss lately. Nothing has changed. Just knowing that I still may have to deal with the bullshit seems to overwhelm me. I'll blame pregnancy for the overreaction to that which I cannot control. Also, in interesting and gross pregnancy news, I've developed varicose veins of the cooch. I thought I was bringing some exotic malady to my doctor's attention but she laughed and said, I don't even have to examine you! It's varicose veins and they're normal and may get much worse by the end of the pregnancy. I'll leave you with this pleasant visual: too much lifting, time on my feet, etc. could cause the veins to resemble (this is me quoting a doctor) "a bag of worms." I may never get out of bed again.

the look of disappointment

was so sad.

Joe (sounding casual, yet raising his eyebrows a little...): You got a package from some place called Spanx...

baby birdy

this is our best shot from her 3D ultrasound. The tech tried everything to get this little baby to move a little so that we could see her face all in one shot to no avail. Birdy hid behind my bones, the placenta and her hand. No easy perfect shots for us. Sort of reminds me of another little girl I know and love. :)

no more muttering under your breath

because i can hear you! I can't believe it's taken me this long to update the situation, but I have my hearing aids and they make life a lot easier. I cannot stress enough just HOW much easier life is with these in -- if you know anyone with hearing loss, they really should give them a try -- it's like functioning with one arm and then suddenly being given the use of both arms. I can hear people whom I've always struggled to hear, can hear at concerts, restaurants... PLUS my phone's bluetooth can go directly to the hearing aids. If I ever get around to it, I can set up the television and iPod to do the same. Oh, and they're pretty cool for hearing aids. Not that you can really see them when I'm wearing them. But if you did, you'd see this:

They are the Siemens 'Life' series with the Tek Bluetooth hookup thingy. I have to get in the habit of putting them on each day -- right now, I put them in for situations where I know I'll need them. What this really means is that I need them and often have forgotten them. In my defense, they cannot get wet - like Gremlins can't get wet - and they're not comfy for napping -- so I'm imagining that after summer and Birdy's arrival, I'll find a better groove with them.

lyle, lyle, lyle

and so it was time again for y and i to trek to hear the prophet/cowboy/philosopher/poet. And we saw all of it and declared it to be good. VERY good. Lyle Lovett appeared at Ravinia with his Large Band (included Francine Reed!) on Wednesday, July 22 and we were there to grin our silly selves right through it. It felt like coming home and the second they started to play I regretted every second I've lived not playing that music as my soundtrack. My dad made a habit of buying tickets for us girls each year and I'm so thankful that he did because we've learned that the scheduling, driving, etc. are worth the full souls that we return with. See ya' next year, Lyle.

Please ignore the crazy eyes. It's the only shot we took all night. Oh and Lyle totally prefers I wear no makeup. :P

edited to add: Birdy either LOVED or HATED the concert. I like to think it was loved. Her ears just developed to be able to hear outside noises more clearly and boy did she respond to Lyle. It still makes me laugh to think of all those kicks and maneuvers.

some honest scrap

“The Honest Scrap award is given by other bloggers who consider a blog’s content or design to be brilliant. The awardee must then post ten honest things about themselves and pass the award on to other bloggers who fit the bill – in other words, whose blog is brilliant.”

HEF, from Spewage, passed this award on to me (and Christine). Here are my ten honest things about me in no particular order...

1) I don't know what I'm doing and worry that I'll just run out of time before I figure anything out. For real. I don't have a 'vision', viable mission statement, or long-term goals. I want to be a good mother, wife, friend, daughter and sister.

2) I won the family lottery. For reals. It's insanely unfair who I get to count as family and I'm eternally grateful.

3) I worry that we'll never have enough financially and then upon reflection realize that I don't really care. I think I care about losing a game that others think is important. And that's sillier than playing the game. Yet, here I am.

4) I have a limitless capacity for sleep. I'm not sure what my limit would be as I've never apparently neared my saturation point.

5) You know how we often say things about past negative experiences forming who we are today -- in someway embracing the experiences? I don't subscribe to that. Maybe we'd all be that much more fabulous for not having some of our negative experiences. I think I'd have more trust, less shame, and more confidence.

6) I was thinking the other day about what one thing I could change that would most greatly improve my life. I have a lisp speech impediment and if I could become confident despite the fact that people struggle to understand me at times, it would open doors. There are situations that I could really shine in if I could only speak.

7) It's totally unfair, considering my family lottery winnings, but I also have incredible, incredible friends. Like people who I can tell my whole truth to and still be loved and supported.

8) I no longer watch the news. It makes me sad and I am not sure that it edifies me in any way. My only news comes from Google headlines, NPR Radio news, Salon.com, the Sunday paper, and the occasional browse through cnn.com.

9) I want to learn guitar but all past/current attempts have shown my lack of willingness to put any effort into it. What does that mean? I mean, I really do want to learn it. I swear.

10) I love tall people hands. This may be because I have short people, chubby hands. They are square'ish -- reminiscent of Fred Flintstone. I'd bet that learning to love my own hands would be a good thing for me. Or, if that's not an option, ending my hand envy of the talls out there.

Ten honest things were not easy for me. Choosing just two people to pass this along to was even more difficult. Maybe everyone should do this post (hint hint). Should they choose to accept it, I now pass this esteemable award onto:

Steph

Alina

birdy's lovey

you might remember that birdy is a big winner. Well, her prizes have arrived from Lovie Baby Blankets and they're just the cutest. I especially love the Birdy lovey -- its so silky and the other side is the softest minky. Every little step makes me a little more excited to meet Lady Bird.

vacation notes and such

well, we survived a very nice family reunion. As nice as it was, we've decided it was our last. The family is now so far removed and we all tend to just hang out with each other anyways. We stayed at the dorms at Northwestern University in St. Paul -- it was so fun as Mom, the girls, and Joe, Nora, and I all shared a quad which means we shared our living room and kitchen. Nora had a blast being with her 'famiwee' all the time. What we can take from all of this is that we vacation well together and should do so in the future.

We had a main rec room at the college where there were family pictures, snacks, games and such. In the evenings, the family would hang out there. Joe and I played Scrabble a couple of times. One night, he opened the game with the word 'dildo'. About halfway through the game, an elderly woman (who must be a distant relative as I did not know her) came over to observe. She perused the board and then said, "What does this word mean?" My chilvalrous husband said, "Sarah?" I said, "Joe?" While Joe and I stammered, she said things like, 'if you play a word, you have to know what it is' and 'if it's Spanish, that's not normally allowed' and on and on. Finally I said that Joe wasn't very good at the game and had played slang. You would think the lesson would have been learned, but our next game started with 'orgy.'
The Mall of America was nowhere as bad as I had imagined it to be. The kids all had a blast shopping and riding rides. Nora even got her first American Girl Bitty Baby Doll. Originally, she was getting the baby only and the accessories later when her baby sister arrives. However, between her and her aunts, she somehow opened it all. We explained to her that she could name her baby any name in the whole wide world and then gave her examples of names. Nora wisely named her, "Baby Nora" The 'baby' title is helpful in differentiating between the two of them.

Nora picks up all sorts of phrases from her aunts. The one that sticks out to me from this trip is what we heard while driving home on the highway: "Wook at dose wims on dat twuck!" I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know what rims are -other than as a new interest of her Aunty Nisey. Some other funny things she has said to me lately are, "Spitting is happy manners!" and shoot... I can't remember another right now. I always {incorrectly} think it will be impossible to forget.

On the way home, we stopped overnight at a hotel with an indoor waterpark. The girls had a wonderful time. They had a really big area for littler ones, so even Nora had a blast. The older girls mostly hung out in the hot tub.

hormones and miscellany

written 7.6'ish posted 7.10

oh what to write about. I have been so tired yet and feeling ill. Partly because Birdy is so high up she pushes on my stomach -- at least that's my diagnosis. I feel as though I just need to catch this blog up for my own 'records' such as they may be. No need to read this rambling.

I have fallen three times now. I know that pregnancy can cause your center of balance to be off but these have been olympic caliber spills. In one of them I even hit my face and scraped my chin up. It's so strange because I don't even see it coming. I seem to do better not carrying anything and I certainly am not carrying Nora on stairs and the like. Outside of the obvious worry of carrying Nora or hurting Birdy, my next reaction is to protect my scarce maternity clothes. I hope this passes as I'm getting a bit sore.

We have a family reunion coming up in Minnesota. These things are not my 'thing.' However, I want to do my parents proud and have time away enjoying my family (the immediate sort of family.) With so many aunties with there is no reason Joe and I couldn't sneak off for a dinner alone...

Why do Sid the Science Kid (on PBS) and his entire family have stoner laughs? (no offense meant to the stoners out there) Science, my ass. They irritate the shit out of me. Especially that pothead grandma of his.

Hormones sometimes make me wonder just how in control we are of our beings. What if we're mostly instinct and chemicals mixed with some soul? Example: the other night I woke Joe up to have sex. Believe me, this is not something I do - Joe would certainly back me up on this. Because while sex is great, I love love love love love to sleep. Also, it's just not my style. Following this while my very pleased husband slept, I then cried for over an hour missing my dad. That's hormones. And that's crazy.

I've been having crazy dreams lately and missing my Dad like crazy. I feel so bad for us all. I know that Mom tries to go to bed only when she can be assured that she will fall right off to sleep. This often means 2 or 3 am and she wakes around 5 again. She says it's just so sad and she misses him so much then. Also, it appears that Nisey will be moving in soon. This deserves its own post on another day.

Some funny things Nora has started to say:

"ACtually..."

"Cudditout! You be KIDDING me!"

"Making me cwazy"

"That's harsh."