roberta layne

birdy's five week stats

24 November 2009
almost 5 weeks old -- posting this late

22 1/2 inches long
15 inch head circumference
10 pounds 12 ounces

She has outgrown her 0-3 month clothing and now is in 6 month for the length if nothing else. This is a big difference from our preemie! She likes tummy time and holds her head up well -- she even gets up on her knees somehow. The doctor assured her that crawling was not yet necessary. Birdy eats every two hours still and is such a love. We're just soaking in these newborn days knowing they don't last long. <3

thankfulness

thanksgiving was wonderful. We have so much to be thankful for but I hesitate to list it all. I blame my niece for this because when she was little, when we would do our family tradition of going around and saying what we were thankful for, she'd always say she was thankful for God or Jesus or something of this ilk. Holy trump cards - how could anyone else say anything else?

here are our two little turkeys on Thanksgiving morning:

and here is the wonderful take home card that Johna made for each guest:

Thanksgiving! thanks! card!

Thank you for coming -- we liked your thankfulness -- here is some candy

born under a good sign

just sent off for birdy's presidential congratulations card. I didn't try this for Nora for obvious reasons -- I'll let you know if it works. To get your own Presidential Birth Announcement Congratulations card, mail your birth announcement to:


White House Greetings Office
Room 39
Washington, DC 20500


When you send the birth announcement card to the above address be sure to include the following details: the name of your baby, the baby's date of birth, name of the parents, and the address to which you would like the card to be sent.

swine flu catch up

i really thought that between our vaccinations and the fact that i never leave the house, i would not have to endure swine flu. I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's taken me a week to be back to myself and I still am exhausted and have an irritating cough. I've heard that those two are here to stay for a while.

Birdy was officially one month old yesterday. Time is just FLYING. I know everyone says it, but it truly seems like time is flying even faster than it did when Nora was a baby. Maybe its having two children or maybe its knowing Birdy is the last baby -- I don't know. I feel cheated -- I want to shut out the world and take her to a room with me and be sure I enjoy every second of her. While I was sick, we had to limit my contact with the girls for the first 48 hours of taking Tamiflu (bc of the flu, not the medication.) We gave Birdy her first bottles of EBM and she took them pretty well. She also went back to the breast without an issue. So glad that it didn't result in nipple confusion or whatever they call it. We used Breastflow Bottles by First Years. I highly recommend them as they were easy to use for both baby and parents and she is going back and forth without issue. Introducing a bottle also means that Joe is able to feed Birdy sometimes. He has expressed that he feels a bit left out this time around. Poor guy -- last time, the world rested on his shoulders: Nora was in NICU, I was in ICU and then when I came home I had debilitating Postpartum Depression. He evidently enjoyed some of that huge responsibility.

I'm starting to get caught up on the regular stuff of running the house -- laundry, bills, dishes, cleaning, thank you notes, etc. I can't wait to find my groove and actually get caught up. Finishing the photo albums has been on my list for well over a year -- I sure would like to actually complete something. I keep considering stopping the photo stuff and then Nora or one of my sisters will haul a book out and enjoy it so thoroughly that all the work and stress is worth it. Maybe if I didn't sit in front of the computer so much, I'd accomplish other things? I just wonder how everyone else does it? I'd like to write more, but Birdy is napping so I need to use this time wisely...

a little bit why i love that nisey

the closing sentence from her report on life insurance:

"So in conclusion, without insurance you won’t have anything. Also your funeral won’t be that great either."

siggies over time

on the boards i visit online, members have 'signatures.' Below are mine just because I want to put them in one place. These have been made by friends and by strangers -- such a neat way to watch Nora grow!

3 (4) + 1 = <3

heather asked about our experience of going from one to two children. I can't remember where I read it, but before Birdy was born I read an article that described having your first child something like coming home and finding that someone has moved your house to a different neighborhood, changed the rooms around and boxed all of your things up randomly. The author said that having your second is like coming home and finding that someone has rearranged your furniture. I've found this to be a perfect analogy. Going from one child to two really wasn't that big of a deal over here. Of course, we have to address balancing the needs and wants of both girls but it's not like our days (or nights) are so different from pre-Birdy days(was there ever such a thing?) I would say that for us, balancing the needs of a fifteen year old with two little ones is much more of a challenge. Or maybe (more likely?) its having three children and two parents that presents the challenge.

Speaking of that fifteen year old, I don't write much about her here. It kind of feels like a violation of her privacy and I'm not sure why --- part of her story is my story, after all. Nisey is doing very well. She works very hard everyday and even made honor roll last grading period. Nora loves having her here and misses her each time she's gone (as do we all.) We're so proud of her and all that she's accomplished -- not only her hard work but her positive energy and joy for life that is simply infectious.

because you may not have enough evidence

this is for birdy -- and really, for nora, too -- but mostly for birdy because nora will have photographic evidence thanks to people other than her mama. Birdy, there may not be enough photographs but I want you to know that I am soaking you up. Each day, every little noise, every smile, every grunt and sigh, every sleepy giggle, every wave in your hair... all of it. I am breathing it all in and it is becoming me. I apologize that I don't take near enough pictures (and the ones I take aren't so good!) but know that I'm here and present just basking in the glory of you girls. Hopefully, your Dad will take enough pictures to balance it all out.


Bird, here are some little things that you already do that fill my soul:

• how you have no use for swaddling
• how well you sleep with me
• how when we cuddle together, we create oven-like heat that we both love
• your dirty looks when i open a diet coke
• how you're always making some sort of noise
• your little bowed baby legs with baggy knees
• how your cheeks just keep getting chubbier
• how you stare at your sister while she holds you
• how you know what you want and will not be swayed
• your little sleepy smiles (gas or not, they melt me)
• the way you laugh in your sleep (I can't wait to find out just what you find so funny)
• how cuddly you are
• your crooked little feet
• how you have my palms and Daddy's fingers and how you haven't grown into either yet
• the way you enjoy me massaging your feet and legs
• how calm you make me feel

I love every little thing about you. Thanks for being ours.

nora's joke

nora has been enjoying telling jokes lately. Here's tonight's installment to her act:


Nora: Knock Knock

You: Who's there?

Nora: I have good news and bad news.

You: (Nora will instruct you on what to say should you forget...) What's the good news?

Nora: I can come home.

You: What's the bad news?

Nora: I can't come home.



This should be followed by gales of laughter. Hilarious. Right?

sisterly love

it seems that nora got all of her sibling rivalry issues out of her system before birdy made her official entrance into our family. After all the worry, regression, and insistence that she was my baby and I should not have any more, Nora has turned out to be the most wonderful big sister. Her first and last words of the day are about 'her baby' and she gleefully introduces Birdy to everyone she meets (even though Birdy doesn't really get to go many places yet -- Nora tells everyone that 'we got our Birdy!' whether or not she is with us.) She showers her with kisses and hugs, holds her so sweetly, and happily shares anything with her -- including her parents. I couldn't be prouder or more blessed.

37

yesterday was my 37th birthday and i'm only noting it here because it seems like something i should record. Birdy did not go to bed the night before so the little bit of sleep I did get was in the recliner. I spent most of my birthday yearning for a nap in a sleep deprived stupor. I woke up to balloons and my favorite donuts waiting for me for breakfast and then at lunch, my sister, Sue, brought my favorite lemon rice soup from a local restaurant, then Joe made tacos for dinner. Yum... I received nice gifts and Nora was so excited to surprise me with her drawings. All wonderful. I just wish I wasn't fighting complete exhaustion and could enjoy it all.

Birthdays are always wonky for me. I think that I should feel birthday special on that day and most years, I do not. Then after it passes, I think I missed some special moment that I now have to wait an entire year to have another shot at doing it right. Now that I write it, I realize how childish it is. Perhaps my feelings about birthdays (could skip them, really) are just grown up and normal. But then another part of me fears being someone who doesn't celebrate joyfully and misses out on the best life has to offer... OH, whatever. I'm sleep deprived and probably shouldn't be trying to think.

birdy's birth story

our planned c-section was scheduled for 8:30 am on thursday, october 22, 2009. Despite my misguided plans of one final and fantastic night of sleep, I slept not at all the night before. (what on earth was I thinking? I don't sleep the night before vacation or even before big parties and haven't had a good night's sleep since about month four!) The next morning, Mom and Johna came over early to sit with Nora while Denise, Joe, and I made our way to the hospital. We arrived at 6:30 am and were done with all pre-testing by 7:30 am. I was pretty nervous about the spinal block procedure. I'm happy to report that worrying about it was, without a doubt, the worst part of getting one. It was all very surreal -- lying around, chatting with Joe and Nisey... just waiting for the scheduled hour to meet our beautiful daughter. It was not at all like I had imagined that time, but still magically expectant with possibilities. Around 8:00 am, I was taken to the operating suite (located right on the labor & delivery floor, with a gorgeous view of autumn trees). Unfortunately, they could not allow Denise in the room because she is a minor -- instead she had to wait right outside the door where they would update her and she would be the one to accompany the new baby to the nursery. They administered the spinal block, the doctors arrived cheerful and joking and then Joe was at my side. Minutes later (after some tugging and even more complaining about the last surgeon's work) at 8:46 am, we heard the soft, melodic cry of Roberta Layne Mays (Birdy) entering the world. She measured 19.5 inches, weighed 8 lbs 9 oz and was named to honor my wonderfull loved and horribly missed dad, Robert Wayne . Joe left to accompany her to the nursery and the doctors worked to finish my side of things. In recovery, they all told me that between Joe and I, we had given them much more trouble than our baby ever had. While in the nursery, Joe became a little queasy and had to sit down -- not really a big deal -- especially considering that just a bit earlier he had cavalierly told me, "I just saw your bladder..." (those of you who know Joe, know that medical business can throw him a bit). Anyhow, I told the nurses that I thought it had been a splendid experience and thanked them for their care. They laughed and told me that my blood pressure had dropped dangerously low because I lost two times the amount of blood they would like to see in a procedure and had to be kept in recovery much longer than usual. They said that the baby was wonderful but that her mom and dad were trouble. This is just another silver lining in Nora's difficult delivery --- Birdy's delivery was a DREAM to us - regardless of the opinions of medical professionals.

Around 11:30 am, I was moved to my room. I was wheeled in and there stood Nisey with her newest niece telling her that her mommy was coming. Oh, it was just wonderful in every way. I was able to hold my daughter and breastfeed her. It was love and complete devotion at first sight. She looks so much like her older sister that its a double wonderful experience -- one of just Birdy and one reminiscent of Nora. The whole experience was such a contrast to my first experience. In fact, the only negative to this experience was that Nora was not allowed up to the labor and delivery due to swine flu. I missed her so much and having to wait to share this with her was difficult. Luckily, my doctors worked to have me home by Saturday morning.

last day

today is the last day i will ever be pregnant and its bittersweet. One of the strange things about scheduling a c-section is this. This knowing exactly when and how. I've gone back and forth on the c-section decision and have decided that this is best for our family. I am 39.5 weeks along and because of my blood pressure, cannot really do much. No driving, no working, but more importantly, no playing with Nora in the way that she wants me to (and I want to.) Flip side -- I'll be in the stupid hospital longer and face a longer recovery period... UGH. I was really hoping that Roberta would make her appearance today -- uncoaxed and perfectly on time.

the shack

so i read it... and liked it more than I anticipated. It's easy reading and I'm not sure if it was pregnancy hormones or the book, but I actually cried a considerable bit. Here's one of my favorite parts from the book:

In response to the main character questioning God about why he has so much fear in his life:
"Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it; but you don't know it."

That really resonates with me. Because we do find it easy to believe we're not good enough, that's we're sinful, unworthy and fail at every turn... it's much harder to believe that we're THAT lovable or THAT loved. What if we are?

a little bit of ketchup

just some random catching up so that i can go on to normal posting again one day... I had to deal with still more legal stuff regarding my former employment. I can't really talk much about it but having the latest inevitable hurdle crossed is a relief and hopefully, the stress will start to diminish. It's all very draining.

Some Nora stuff:

Nora can beat box. And she thinks she rocks at it, too. I thank Biz Markie from Yo Gabba Gabba.

She told me I should have my eyebrows grow together.

Progress in big sister land… she told me today she had plenty of room in her bedroom for Birdy’s crib. And that she’d make it comfy.

Nora loves spending parts of her days naked. She'll say "I be naked for a wittle bit." Her naked time has expanded from about a half hour a day to 2-3 hours (or longer) when we don’t have to be anywhere. One of the positive side effects is that (as long as we don't talk about it) she is naked potty trained.

During my meeting yesterday, Joe took Nora to Millennium Park. There, they saw 'the Bean' -- everyone calls it that for obvious reasons. Everyone except Nora, who calls it the big Donut.

book recommendation for bringing second baby home 10.07.2009

we’ve read so many of them and most of them aren’t great. We are really liking this one:

full moon rising 10.06.2009

i dreamt last night that birdy came so quickly that i felt that i had not experienced proper labor and delivery. Oh, let’s all hope for such problems! Yesterday, I slept every moment that I wasn’t caring for Nora – even went to bed when she did. I’m hoping that it’s some sign that Birdy will appear soon. Really, I’m at the point where ANY little thing (the moon, for example) is being turned into a sign that Birdy will appear soon. Last Friday at our 37 week OB appt, my cervix had done absolutely NO work -- the lazy little thing. I was almost in tears over it. While I am a second time mom, I’ve never been 37 weeks pregnant. Nora was born at 33 weeks and I was on bed rest for weeks and weeks before that. While that certainly brought its own list of worries and complaints, they were very different from my current list. What I know about both lists is that they are infinitely worth it. I wish I could make myself treasure and enjoy these last days of my last pregnancy, but I’m just so uncomfortable and tired.
And eager to meet my second daughter.
Also of note… the only thing drawing the eye away from this gargantuan belly are the fetish-sized mammaries I’m hauling around. Where’s my GLOWING??? I just wanted to glow...

joe's fortieth birthday party 10.03.09

was wonderful. He had a good time, Nora had a good time, and I had a good time. I hope that this is true for all of our guests, as well. It was so fun to celebrate this incredible man who I have been lucky enough to call mine. His thoughtfulness, generosity, humor, kindness, and intelligence are amazing. His actual birthday is on Wednesday – we went out for dinner to celebrate him on Friday night, I think I’ll make tacos (his fav) Wednesday night… Something… I don’t want it to go by without anything. There's just no predicting how I'll feel on any given night anymore and there's always algebra homework and the like...
Some party observations… We kept the menu pretty simple (and yummy) and it worked well – much less waste than when I try to please everyone and offer way too many options. I think part of the reason I had such a nice time was that I didn’t try to make everyone happy. Some people are shy or not social – me running to their side regularly does not change that. Beyond initial greetings and natural conversation, I just let people be whoever they are – even if it sometimes looks uncomfortable to me. It took the pressure off of me although it may not be the most hospitable I can be. Guest lists -- who shows up is sometimes surprising, but most often, it’s our core group that I cannot imagine having a party without. Similarly, those who don’t show (mostly family) really are not surprising. It’s not like we have that many events. Normally, we have a party for Nora each year and that’s it. For Joe’s 40th, I expanded the list a bit to include some extended friends and family. Anyhow… my question is: How many times can people not show for something before we quit inviting them? What do you do?

things i've learned with no internet 10.06.2009

i haven’t had internet for over a week now. It’s been worse and easier than I had imagined. I’ve always thought of it as my guilty little pleasure – and you can be sure that it still is. But I’ve learned that I also conduct a ton of our family’s ‘business’ on it. It’s a way more legit pastime than I previously believed. Bills get paid, gifts get ordered, family gets included, money gets transferred, grades get checked, calendars get synced, friends get caught up (I think this is the part I miss the most), music and radio shows get downloaded, research gets done for all sorts of family members… I may ‘waste’ time on the internet, but the efficiency it allows me in other arenas of our life more than makes up for that. From now on, it will be my guilty little pleasure.